Thursday, December 31, 2009

A new year post- Looking back and looking ahead..

It's overwhelming to see how time flies away! Memories of the past just whisked past me a few hours ago when I was trying to catch a wink after a tiring day of giving an exam. It had only been a while and I woke up startled. Tossing and turning, I was trying to sleep but then all those sad & happy moments just flash-backed its way through my mind, not just the incidents of the present year but also the memories that made up the decade that is going to end in a few hours from now.

2010 is going to be a milestone year, more so as it's the beginning of a new decade. And it were these digits which were reiterating in my mind. I still remember the starting of this millennium and everyone was making such a big fuss about 2000 being a landmark year. I vividly remember the new year's eve back then. I was 13 and in standard 8th and as excited as any other teenager that day. We had brought lots of cakes and were playing some great music the whole evening. And 'Titanic' was being shown for the first time on Star Movies that night. Till about a few years back, all major releases where premiered on the small screen after a gap of about 3-4 years, so it was a big deal back then. Before the X'mas holidays begun that year, some of my friends had decided to celebrate the new year by sitting at home and watching Titanic and yes, I was also one of them :) We guys had gone onto lengths discussing the movie and specially dissecting the make-out scenes(over enthusiastic teens that we were!! :D)
I was excited because I was gonna watch it for the 1st time(imagine 3 years after it released inspite of the hype it had!). So mom n me saw it and I remember giving shy smiles to her during the so called 'scenes'.

Fast forward to this day. It's been 10 years since the Titanic night and things are so different. I have so many things at my disposal which I never had back then. I am 10 years more matured, more aware of things, and in a better mental shape. And also the adage that I swear by- "This too shall pass" holds so true that one realizes it only when the transformation of a bad phase into a good phase happens. Nothing ever was, nor will be permanent. One understands the significance of what happened or not happened much much later in time. So many of them feels just right today, which at one point of time felt so so bad and one would be wallowing in self-pity over them.

I have never ever in my life, made any new year resolutions. Why? Maybe coz I have never really given a thought to it. Was it coz I have never been dead serious about life or plans? I have no idea. Maybe I just don't believe in binding my life to a list of pre-determined activities. Though I don't deny that I have planned things or activities in life. It feels great jotting down a "Things to do" list, but somehow there would be rarely a 10 on ten tick percentage on it. Planning is great but sometimes unplanned and 'out of the blue' incidents go a long way in changing the track of life and I would affirm, has happened a lot of times with me.

Why do I feel 2010 is going to be milestone year?

Reason 1- Mainly coz of the fact that college will be ending and as of now I have no plans of studying anything major in the future, unless destiny and God has some other plans for me. I still can't believe that I have managed to survive in this place. I still remember all that quitting plans I had made when I realized the kind of subjects that they taught in 1st yr MBA was just not my cup of tea and had almost deduced that MBA eligibility criteria should be commerce grads & not sciencies n arties like me. It was not without difficulties that I managed to stick on with this place. Counting the years on fingers gives an ultimate high..2008..2009.. n now 2010. It feels like yesterday when I had stepped in that hostel and hated it to the core. How I had to keep a smiling face and accommodating persona throughout first year in that place dealing with a psycho roommate! I had never been more happy when I left that place and thank God, my place of stay this year was a lot peaceful. I have mentioned the feeling of hatred that I have felt towards the college in earlier posts, but I am surprised by the change in my attitude towards the college and friends here. I have lately realized that accepting them as they are, allowing them a sneak peek into your life, opening up to them, mingling freely and doing stupid activities gives a sense of utmost joy & also negates the pressure the college puts on you to a great extent .Group studies, work load, projects and assignments have never been more fun as it's now. Things are in great shape now.

Reason 2- More than anything else. I am sure this year is going to be doubly hectic with all that job hunting process and the seemingly eternal never ending exams that my college puts me through.

I don't know why but I feel a strong urge now to thank my folks for giving me everything- the resources to study,the love, affection and support. No matter how bad or good I am feeling, I know they are just a call away and I can vent to my heart's content with them. Who else but my parents have the patience to listen to my wails? I have lost count of the number of times I have subjected them to being my sounding board! I know I get difficult sometimes but I am not bad either! Thank you mom for being my biggest support system and thank you dad for just being there and understanding me. Love you :)

I will also never forget my boss at Ranbaxy- the ultimate epitome of a female authoritarian boss! Nor will I ever forget her words and whatever she said to me. Towards the end of the stint there, she may have been a bit harsh, but it all feels 'at place' now. She will be an icon for life. It was only after my term there that all the management fundas fell into place and into my brains. I learnt a lot and will value the time spent there forever.

Life sure is one big mystery. You never know what's gonna happen tomorrow and what each day will unfold for you. But the mystery is what makes it exciting. As I have always felt, predictability is boring and it's exciting to be taken unawares(obviously in a good way!).
With this I would use this space to wish everyone a super happy, cheerful and prosperous new year filled with great moments, and of course I wish myself the same.

Bidding adieu to 2009..n here's welcoming 2010 with glee! Happy new year :)

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

You are my 'Temptation'!

With you it's never enough.
I could be admiring you, over & over again,
and never get bored of your beauty.
It's not my fault you look so appealing.

Whenever I see you, it's so hard to resist.
The temptation you invoke in me
is so overpowering.
You are alluring as hell!

The times I get to meet you
is few & far in between.
But as & when it happens
I feel like devouring you then & there.

With your dark brown complexion
you are a treat for my eyes!
Baby try to meet me more often.
Don't you want to see me contented?

Can't help controlling my urge when you're around.
All I wanna do is taste you ,
And let that taste linger on my lips,
tickling my wicked taste buds.

I love you!
You bring a smile on my face.
You remind me of forbidden pleasures.
You are my one & only delight.
You are the sinful 'chocolate truffle'!!

- Readers may please note that this poem is dedicated to the edible chocolate truffle which happens to be one of my favorite things in the world.Therefore the muse here is a non-living thing as opposed to a living thing! Though one can't deny the inspiration behind writing in innuendos being a living person.Thus the readers are free to let their imagination run haywire while delving over the suggestive tone of the lines.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Things that are bothering me presently!

1. My routine- Why on earth do I wake up at 6 a.m. in the harsh Delhi winters, almost 3 hrs before I leave for college? Am I sincere, dedicated student or a chronic early-riser? The answer is a big NO. Then pray why? *wonders*

2. Winters- My relationship with this season has been a love-hate thingy. I love it coz of the sunshine, good food, great clothes, long nights, good sleep. I hate it coz of the dark broody early mornings, freezing water, dry skin, cough-cold..

3. College- 1 year and 4 months into this place and my opinion about it has still not changed. It sucks! Though this term has been interesting, thanks to one particular lecturer who makes the class as lively and exciting as he is. Everyone seems to be going gaga over him, specially the girls. *chuckles*

4. Dissertation- For the uninitiated it is the winter project(some research stuff) which I have to submit asap. And I just don't feel like doing it. Mainly coz of the fact, my summer project(something for I worked like REAL HARD) was inaccurately evaluated by the bee-skool(sic!) and some losers were freely awarded grades, so there the motivation to work hard again, goes out of the window!

5. 24*7 Internet- This was a boon initially, but it seems to have transformed my life completely. I am overtly dependent on it and my life seems to be nauseatingly revolving around it. And it's kind of a curse now.

6. Uncertainty- I still don't seem to have any clear ideas about my plans, forget making strategies that is so heartily expected out of an MBA student. So I can safely say that "Hey! I don't know where will I be or what will I be doing 6 months down the line." (I sincerely hope my future recruiter is not reading this one!)

7. Career- Oh well! This doesn't even need an explanation.

8. Insomnia- Well yes I am kind of an insomniac, though the degree is not sky-high. It does attack sometimes and it's funny coz I so wanna crash down but I end up doing nonsensical activities bartering my love for a good night's sleep.

9. Hairstyle- Funny but I am forever confused between wearing my hair long or short! For once I want all the curls & length to remain but the very next moment I feel like getting them chopped off & straightened. Dilemma man!

10. Staying away- It's great staying away from folks for a host of granted reasons. But then I also keep travelling every 15 days or so back home. So most of the time my mind is in a half-here half-there kind of a situation.

.. and lots more!